Jane Wenham-Jones presents…

Posts tagged ‘diet tips’

Flab-fighting tip No. 12 – keep your crisps in the loft.

Having to climbing up and down the ladder every time you fancy some cheese & onion will tone your thighs in no time…

loft ladder  Kettle_Chips_Mature_Cheddar_and_Red_Onion_Flavour_40g


(especially if you allow yourself only one mouthful per trip!)


Flab-fighting top No 11 – Have lots of great sex!

Have lots of great sex

(NB if you’re married, best not to let your spouse find out.)

A good shag burns up to 400 calories and increases the endorphins in your body leaving you feeling naturally high without resorting to chocolate.

Points in favour: you spend all your eating time bonking, and when you do come up for air, you don’t want to look unalluring by ramming food down your throat.

Points against: if you’re single, you might fall in love, decide to get married and that will be your sex life gone for ever.

Footnote 1

I am including a nice picture of a sunset because when I tried google images for a suitable illustration I got more than I’d bargained for. It is a Sunday after all…

taken leaving St Maarten when I was a speaker on P&0's Arcadia. An experience to test one's flab-fighting to the limit. Never seen so much food in my life...

Sunset taken leaving St Maarten when I was a speaker on P&0’s cruise ship, Arcadia. An experience to test one’s flab-fighting to the limit. Never seen so much food in my life…

Flab-Fighting tip no 10 – take supplements

If you’re on a diet and can’t keep to it, make sure you’re getting the right vitamins and minerals. Sometimes cravings are your body’s way of saying what it needs. If you’re mainlining chocolate brazil nuts for example, perhaps you need selenium.

If you’re just sucking the chocolate off, you might want iron. If you’ve eaten three doughnuts, four cookies and an apple pie and it’s only 11 a.m., you want to get a grip before you’re the size of Dorset.


Flab-fighting tip No 9 – Go on Twitter

Yes — you thought the reason you had an arse the size of Northampton was because you sat on it all day tweeting banalities about how many muffins you’ve eaten, but in fact research has proved that using Twitter can actually help you LOSE weight.


A study carried out by the University of Carolina found that those who posted updates about their diet on twitter and got support from fellow fatties, lost more of their body weight than those who didn’t. (This is my brief Sunday Summary — for the full scientific low-down click here)

So if you feel like sharing with the world, what you had for breakfast, you are not being dull and tedious after all, but Fighting the Flab! Pleased? Don’t mention it. xx

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