Jane Wenham-Jones presents…

Archive for the ‘tips’ Category

Flab-fighting tip No 15 – Get yourself on TV!

Television puts ten pounds on you. So get yourself on screen, see it all hang out, and I guarantee you won’t eat for a week 🙂

May I refer you to www.wannabeawritertvshow.com where you can get a chance to do just that….

Wannabe A Writer TV Show Title Card

We could do with the hits…

 

 

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Flab-fighting tip No 14 – Eat yoghurt and banana

 

This idea came from my friend Irene who swears by this unlikely-sounding regime which has one simple rule – you can eat as much as you like of absolutely anything as long as it is plain yoghurt or banana. You are supposed to do it for three days. Since banana is a diuretic and yoghurt an evacuant (let’s not go there) it does work, but I don’t suggest you do it for that long. By dawn of the second day you will be out of your head with the tedium of it and hallucinating about toast and marmite or anything that isn’t bloody yogurt or banana.

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It does, however work, as a quick fix to get into a tight dress. (On the other hand, you could just wear a bigger one.) (Or a decorated tent.)

Flab-fighting tip No 13: Eat eggs for breakfast

Studies have shown that if you eat eggs for breakfast you will consume, on average, 400 calories less during the rest of the day than if you have a carbohydrate-only start to the morning.

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Research carried out over eight years, by dietician Dr Carrie Ruxton, showed that those eating eggs, as opposed to cereal, felt fuller for longer and therefore ate less later on. This is presumably because eggs are high in protein, which stops you feeling hungry, but they also, apparently, contain quite a specific sort of protein at that, which works well on feelings of satiety. More research is required, but eggs may also possibly affect some appetite-related gut hormones aiding feelings of fullness. In the meantime, they certainly contain Vitamin D which regulates the amount of calcium and phosphate in the body and promotes strong bones and teeth. Hurrah!

(NB Eggs are also excellent as a hangover remedy and, together with cress and mayonnaise, make the very best sort of sandwich.)

Flab-fighting tip No. 12 – keep your crisps in the loft.

Having to climbing up and down the ladder every time you fancy some cheese & onion will tone your thighs in no time…

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(especially if you allow yourself only one mouthful per trip!)

Flab-fighting top No 11 – Have lots of great sex!

Have lots of great sex

(NB if you’re married, best not to let your spouse find out.)

A good shag burns up to 400 calories and increases the endorphins in your body leaving you feeling naturally high without resorting to chocolate.

Points in favour: you spend all your eating time bonking, and when you do come up for air, you don’t want to look unalluring by ramming food down your throat.

Points against: if you’re single, you might fall in love, decide to get married and that will be your sex life gone for ever.

Footnote 1

I am including a nice picture of a sunset because when I tried google images for a suitable illustration I got more than I’d bargained for. It is a Sunday after all…

taken leaving St Maarten when I was a speaker on P&0's Arcadia. An experience to test one's flab-fighting to the limit. Never seen so much food in my life...

Sunset taken leaving St Maarten when I was a speaker on P&0’s cruise ship, Arcadia. An experience to test one’s flab-fighting to the limit. Never seen so much food in my life…

Flab-Fighting tip no 10 – take supplements

If you’re on a diet and can’t keep to it, make sure you’re getting the right vitamins and minerals. Sometimes cravings are your body’s way of saying what it needs. If you’re mainlining chocolate brazil nuts for example, perhaps you need selenium.

If you’re just sucking the chocolate off, you might want iron. If you’ve eaten three doughnuts, four cookies and an apple pie and it’s only 11 a.m., you want to get a grip before you’re the size of Dorset.

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Flab-fighting tip No 9 – Go on Twitter

Yes — you thought the reason you had an arse the size of Northampton was because you sat on it all day tweeting banalities about how many muffins you’ve eaten, but in fact research has proved that using Twitter can actually help you LOSE weight.

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A study carried out by the University of Carolina found that those who posted updates about their diet on twitter and got support from fellow fatties, lost more of their body weight than those who didn’t. (This is my brief Sunday Summary — for the full scientific low-down click here)

So if you feel like sharing with the world, what you had for breakfast, you are not being dull and tedious after all, but Fighting the Flab! Pleased? Don’t mention it. xx

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